How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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