oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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