1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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