singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Acid is not a monday night drug
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
