After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
