true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize