i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
