Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just want nice things and good sex
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
