you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
