He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
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Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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