i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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