if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize