And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
