I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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