New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize