there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
