Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize