ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize