nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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