Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize