Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
