I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Everyone says I win the strip club
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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