remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
