We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
