i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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