put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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