The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
