if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
