Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize