did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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