How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
