I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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