just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
