Betty ford says i'm here all night
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
