Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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