At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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