I would go down on you faster than GM stock
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
