is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
