did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
