Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
