This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A+ Viking dick
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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