weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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