All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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