Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
