So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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