I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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