For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize