I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
