I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
