I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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