She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
