How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
