My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
