Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
