I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
