I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
