I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
