I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
