is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
