Christians are straight up FREAKS
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
